6 replies to this topic

[Tom]

How do you get along with your opposing quadra?

Role: ENFj

I'm actually rooming with my Fe EIE friend (who also happens to be named Tom) when I go to college this falll; sometimes our lack of connection is overt, but we get along very well and are pretty good friends. It's funny, because if I had to describe our relationship, I'd call it amiably misunderstood, with good insights provided on both sides. I feel like I learn a lot I wouldn't normally about opposing ways of looking at the world whenever we talk, and he's told me he feels the same. All in all, we get on really well, and, hopefully, our relationship won't become strained as we stay in each others' proximity for most of this year. I find it very easy to spot EIEs, and tend to find them (usually) out-of-step in all of their actions. Most of the time, they're okay with me until decisions have to be made.

Conflictor: INFp

Not too sure about this one. Fe INFps really bug me, but Ni INFps are whatev. I like their writing, anyway (like Nietzsche). Fe INFps just seem like the winiest, most absurd, annoying, aggressive, bitchy, etc. (the list goes on and on). Actually, my anecdote is about how well I get along with (who Jake says is, anyway; I think Fe SEI, but he doesn't agree. I'll yield because I need a story, I suppose) an Fe IEI. We joke and get along very well; I've never really been agitated by her except when she starts getting pushy, etc. However, another Fe IEI (Jake's sister) and I do not get along very well at all. I have mixed feelings about my conflictors is, I guess, the point.

Quasi-Identical: ESTp

I usually get along well with the Ti sub here. The Se I'm always thinking is an uncontrollable, soulless fiend who just makes everything worse. Too aggressive, not enough thinking going on, always looking for attention in all the wrong ways, thinks they're king of the universe, etc. Blech. Chicks always turn out to be really hot, though.

Extinguishment: ISTj

Yep. Definitely extinguishment. I just cannot be in the presence of these people for overlong; they really wear me out. They're pushy, overbearing, and don't ever have good reason. They're super stubborn and super bossy. They can't stand to have their perceived authority challenged. I had a teacher in my sophomore year of high school who was this type; she was a huge bitch with an egocentric power trip, and we hated each other. Jake, my friends Ian and Gary, and I all left her class because she was so horrible. So yep, not really a fan of my encounters with this type. But I'm always optimistic.


So that's about how I fair with betas; how about you?

[VixenDogFox]

This is so interesting!

Well, for me...
What's the name of this relationship again?: INTp
I don't really know many in person. My INTj brother's fiancee is one though. I get along really well with him as my activity partner, of course, so it kinda extends to her. I find her really funny and weird. We don't get along as well alone... it's more kinda quiet and subdued. But with my brother there we all have fun talking. She likes to correct me/give me advice on a good course of action when it comes to my studies. I always feel she is smarter than me (well, she really is though).

Conflictor: ENTj
I get along very well with the males (my brother is one), and relations are strained with the females. I will say that I never would want a relationship with one because I can tell we would fight. My little brother has blown up at me a bunch of times, but generally we have a fun time together. I seem to be a person who can talk him down from being angry when he gets out of hand. Also, he has a strange proclivity to want to dish to me all his life secrets (since he was a teen). When he started high school, he asked me to teach him how to dress nice for the girls. My boyfriend's mom is one though, and while we get along, we don't feel deeply connected and relations are quite superficially "nice." Her domineering-ness is a little much for me, as I don't like being told what to do.

Quasi-Identical: ISFj
The only ones I've known were my boyfriend (Fi-ISFj) and my male cousin (might be the other subtype, not sure). I actually get along with them super well. For me and my ISFj, it was instant attraction and super good chemistry. Love it.

Estinguishment: ESFp
I've gotten along with a few, but almost always feel extremely boring and invisible around them. Like they are so much "cooler" than I am for some odd reason. I feel self-conscious, can't be my usual happy, fun self, and feel relieved when they're gone. Sucks, because everyone loves this type. They are pretty funny, though...

Tom, on May 21 2009, 12:11 PM, said:

How do you get along with your opposing quadra?

Role: ENFj

I'm actually rooming with my Fe EIE friend (who also happens to be named Tom) when I go to college this falll; sometimes our lack of connection is overt, but we get along very well and are pretty good friends. It's funny, because if I had to describe our relationship, I'd call it amiably misunderstood, with good insights provided on both sides. I feel like I learn a lot I wouldn't normally about opposing ways of looking at the world whenever we talk, and he's told me he feels the same. All in all, we get on really well, and, hopefully, our relationship won't become strained as we stay in each others' proximity for most of this year. I find it very easy to spot EIEs, and tend to find them (usually) out-of-step in all of their actions. Most of the time, they're okay with me until decisions have to be made.

Conflictor: INFp

Not too sure about this one. Fe INFps really bug me, but Ni INFps are whatev. I like their writing, anyway (like Nietzsche). Fe INFps just seem like the winiest, most absurd, annoying, aggressive, bitchy, etc. (the list goes on and on). Actually, my anecdote is about how well I get along with (who Jake says is, anyway; I think Fe SEI, but he doesn't agree. I'll yield because I need a story, I suppose) an Fe IEI. We joke and get along very well; I've never really been agitated by her except when she starts getting pushy, etc. However, another Fe IEI (Jake's sister) and I do not get along very well at all. I have mixed feelings about my conflictors is, I guess, the point.

Quasi-Identical: ESTp

I usually get along well with the Ti sub here. The Se I'm always thinking is an uncontrollable, soulless fiend who just makes everything worse. Too aggressive, not enough thinking going on, always looking for attention in all the wrong ways, thinks they're king of the universe, etc. Blech. Chicks always turn out to be really hot, though.

Extinguishment: ISTj

Yep. Definitely extinguishment. I just cannot be in the presence of these people for overlong; they really wear me out. They're pushy, overbearing, and don't ever have good reason. They're super stubborn and super bossy. They can't stand to have their perceived authority challenged. I had a teacher in my sophomore year of high school who was this type; she was a huge bitch with an egocentric power trip, and we hated each other. Jake, my friends Ian and Gary, and I all left her class because she was so horrible. So yep, not really a fan of my encounters with this type. But I'm always optimistic.


So that's about how I fair with betas; how about you?

[ArchonAlarion]

ESFps: I generally get along with them. The Ep temperament provides common ground (basically being a spaz, yelling, and frequently making jokes). However, I try to subdue all intellectual opinions around them. Not because ESFp's are stupid or something, but more because I let my Ti out to run rampant and they get pissed or annoyed.

INTps: I get along with them. I find they tire of me quickly when I am serious about something (like philosophy) so I attempt to only discuss mutual interests or just clown around.

ENTjs: I have a Te ENTj friend. He's a dick, bossy, and workaholic (7w8), but in casual non work/cooperation settings we get along fine. Similar humor.

ISFjs: Turns out I like alot of the same subjects as my conflictors. I know an Fi ISFj man who I like and generally get along with. He's interested in history and Arthurian legend and reads A Song of Ice and Fire (my favorite book series). The problem is when I spend long amounts of time around him, I can see he thinks I'm careless and neglectful. And trying to discuss politics or any serious matter with him is like talking to a mound of dirt. Nothing gets through.

[laghlagh]

ESTps: i've never outright conflicted with any of them or been particularly close. i've noticed a sort of mutual attempt at adaptation, like they tend to slow down their speech and be calmer and more polite when talking to me, and i tend to feel like i'm revving up, like i need to exude more energy, respond quickly, show enthusiasm. like we sort of try to meet in the middle, energy-wise. a bit of a walking on eggshells feeling.

INFps: my reactions to them vary a lot. i can absolutely adore them for their charm and their ability to see the inside of me in a way that nobody ever sees except for me (its an amazing talent, seriously). i've noticed things are often off-balance in terms of reciprocity, like i'll be totally enamored with them while they are indifferent to me or vice-versa (i don't know why). i've noticed i tend to appreciate the females more than the males. only one i've known irl (my mother, incidentally, heh) was of the "aggressive" variety, very critical of me, and that...really sucked. they can seem kind of annoyingly self-congratulating to me sometimes.

ENFjs: i feel like with ENFjs, things are supposed to go a certain way, like there's an expected emotional response...which i also notice in ESFjs, and it isn't as big of a deal, because i know what they expect. but with ENFjs, i DON"T know what kind of response they expect, so it totally freaks me out. like i've been shoved onto a stage and told to play the part i'm assigned, but nobody ever gave me my fucking lines. and there i am being observed for my adherence to my role, but since i never got a script i'm just screwed from the start. it's awkward. i dated an ENFj in high school who was all big into romance, like giving me a backrub as a precursor to making out or whatever, lol, it was like...dude, you don't have to put on this performance, we can just make out haha. and in order to try to make him feel more comfortable, i would go all balls-out infantile and act like a retard in order to get him to "loosen up." but..that was a fail, obviously. aslf;a awkward!

ISTjs: i've only typed one Ti-sub, and i found him really interesting from a distance, as the descriptions suggest. he seemed really stoic and watchful in a way that i found attractive. but after closer contact, i was infuriated with him for his insistence on viewing things in a way that i thought was unreasonable and totally off the mark. like, "lets pick a stupid perspective and stick to it at all costs" lol. the Se subs i've known have probably been the people i've met who have scared me the most, haha. i feel uber-watched, like every movement and vocal utterance is being scrutinized in some kind of mental steno pad in their heads. its so weird. i become very stiff and quiet around them, not wanting to give them much material to work with.

[Galen]

ENFj: The ones I've met or known seemed weirdly cold at a distance. They definitely play up their emotional output, but they still come of as unpersonable to me. I think a lot of it has to do with coming off as fake, or maybe it's just a sheer coincident in terms of personality differences. Either way, I don't recall having any real problems with ENFjs of either subtype.

INFp: The betas I get along with the best, by far. I've known a few in high school, and they were very friendly and open people. The only times I have any problems with them is if they act too "gay," and those people tend to be the ones I ignore instinctively. They just become annoying and cocky and I have no interest in them. But when they're sane, intelligent, rational people, I get along with them perfectly well.

ESTp: Kind of a weird bunch, if you ask me. I've never had any outright confrontation with them, and they tend to be very concerned with how well they come across to me. But sometimes there are these weird pockets of miscommunication where I'm trying to say something, and once I finish there's this weird look on their faces as they're understanding what I'm saying. It feels like they have no idea how to process the information I'm putting out, it's a very uncomfortable feeling. I've seen this "I don't understand" face at least three separate times on three different people, and it all makes me feel really weird.

ISTj: Again, only rarely have I had verbal arguments with ISTjs. The ones I've known were very polite and restrained, at least to me. I've even been able to bond with them on a somewhat deeper-than-skin level (particularly with discojoe). I guess I simply haven't had enough extended contact with them to really feel conflictors conflict in person. What I do know is that to me, ISTjs feel like they're trying to force me to think in the same ways they think, like they don't understand the bias of their own head. This has happened with two ISTj high school teachers of mine, and each time I was at a complete loss for a response to their thought processes.

[eunice]

ENFj: The ones I have known are either charismatic or eccentric, and seem to differ from the norm.

INFp: The ones I have met tend to be rather friendly and seem to get along with anyone, even though they might not necessarily like that person. I am intrigued at times on their strong capability to influence and persuade people around them to see things in a certain way.

ESTp: They tend to be rather loyal to their friends. On a negative side, I find that they can get rather upset easily over trivial matters and can get impulsive when things are not the way they wanted them to be.

ISTj: The ISTjs I have known have usually all-rounders and can get rather competitive i.e. wanting to be no.1 in any competition, be it formal or informal. They impress me with their discipline in life and they seem to possess the ability to do things the 'right' way. Nevertheless, they give me this impression that they can be silently critical of others and expect others to do things the 'right' way as well, as if "that" is the only way that can be done.

[poli]

Ni-ENFj: see socionics.com /contrary relations. The main one I know won't give me any space, he's always asking my opinion and approaches me at the wrong times, like right when I leave. He talks about trivial things, he doesn't give me emotional space when we hang out together, I will sometimes be emotional in private, however when we're in the same room he will go kind of nuts on the positive emotions, and he's really loud and and gives me a headache: especially because I'm used to such peace and quiet. It seems like he lives off of stirring everything and everyone up. He's my father and we have some similarities, but those similarities are expressed through quite different means, ie. his emotions seem to encompass the entire room he's in even if he's not like "reaching out" per se. He just has a dominant attitude. Yet we're sort of similar in that we have similar traits of expression, like genetics, but the "level" and "direction" of expression is what is quite different level. I don't really understand it or know how to explain why we're similar in some ways though (and can only explain from a comparative perspective)...because there is an obvious clash when together. It's just genetics, and I wouldn't really emphasize our similarities too much. I often simply feel that he needs to "leave me be," and if we're on a vacation with many other people, you can be sure that I won't be hanging out with him. He starts a lot of conflict too, like he always has something to criticize about, and I am not one to be angry, I'm quite peaceable in general. I wish I had better non-genetic examples, but I don't know any other Betas that closely.

Fe-INFp: she can be kind of obnoxious on the emotions and loudness, and in the same light as my dad has a rather impolite way of effecting my emotional space. She does it a lot more free and irrationally, like she has more creativity in it, and possibly somewhat more unawareness. However she's a lot easier to be around however because Fe isn't dominant, she's definitely more peaceable and not on my case about things. We can more easily express ourselves to one another and understand where the other is coming from, even if it might be kind of trivial, but our time spent together is easier. I don't have any huge complaints. I guess IPs and IJs are sometimes better with each other if they're opposing quadras.

Ti-ISTj: this is actually my best friend. We have been best friends since 1st grade. He's a lot more emotionally connected, he has made me understand emotions more, like he will laugh at someone doing something funny and how they emote, and I've learned to find it funny too in the sense that he does, so its more of a personal/relationship-based thing and I don't feel as though I have really changed into much of an Fe-er the whole while. We've been together for so long, however our changes are more in personality indirect from Socionics, and as our personalities develop I can sense us growing apart. We used to find each other very interesting and had the best time together, I felt as though he kind of 'put up' with me because he found me interesting where as I really liked his kindness and found him interesting as well, I think I really liked his house and lifestyle, and we were both kind of anti-social and imaginative, so that brought us together, but he's becoming more Beta, and I the opposite, and we're really just not that interested anymore, like he doesn't want to put up with my Ne or Fi-ness anymore, and I don't really care much for his Fe-ness, as though he has these outside ethical responsibilities, he has to maintain his cool or something. It started back in highschool when he didn't get in to mine, and he finally found lots of friends to be with, who seem very different from me. Even though this is one of the best Beta relations I've had at a peaceable and entertaining level, we had such good memories and things to reflect on, and I still miss those times and us hanging out, we still don't really "connect" how people should. There is still some pretty obvious distance between us, and I finally met this ISFj friend who replaced him for a while, and our energy was much more connective/quicker, we weren't at all careful about Fe, we could just be ourselves. But I found the ISFj to be too intense for me, the ISTj and I actually get along better in general terms, and he's not Se subtype. (btw Galen, he really likes youtube poop and he's not Ne :} My ENTp brother doesn't get the humor of YTP. )

My cousin seems Ti-ESTp. Don't know much about him, he seems very nice and my INFp sister really likes him. It's obvious that I judge him too objectively though, because I don't think we really connect or have anything in common, despite me having some distanced bias that is positive. He's always just been very kind, cool-tempered and upbeat. We've never "clashed," rather there is just a complete lack of relation spark. I like his personality, or should I say "demeanor and attitude towards life", but that seems beside the point. I've tried initiating him a few times, we usually just have an awkward playful buddy-buddy hello and smile. My relationship with my ENTp brother by comparison is a whole lot more awesome because we're both actually weird and playful. And in comparison to my dad, obviously I'm closer with my dad, yet he gets on my bad side a lot more. I've ended up disliking my supervisor much more too (uncle), and I feel him actually supervising me every time we would have a conversation, he seems very critical/upfront! I think it depends a lot on a person's attitude if we clash. So if I were to summarize conflict relations from my experience so far, it would be "avoidance" and other relations would be more like "conflict." I don't have a lot of close relationships in general, and I don't think I would have close relationships with ESTps to the point that we really "conflict," know what I mean. I wonder if ESTp really is the most potential conflict for me.


Anyway, not sure I explained much. Just kind of my perspective.