Thanks for the link. I've actually read it (and that entire site many times haha).
I really appreciate the advice, and normally I'd take it, but the people I mentioned (myself, my ex., my brother, his ex.) are most certainly the types I mentioned. Not only have they tested as such, but they V.I. easily as those types. I'm a really obvious Fe-ISFp, my ex. is an obvious dead-ringer for an ENTp, etc.
I'm not trying to be argumentative, but these types are extremely well established. When I think about it, my relationship failed but it could have been due to my ex.'s immaturity (5 years younger than me) and if I hadn't moved on, it could have been rekindled when he was ready. When we broke up it shocked me because I was so happy and in love and thought we had a perfect relationship... I thought we were perfect together and maybe we could have been under different circumstances. We didn't have any real conflict throughout the relationship, it was more when the ENTp started chasing someone else he started withdrawing from me. As for my INTj brother and the ESFj -- they had instant attraction but I think the initial three weeks was that "breaking in" period between duals unfamiliar with each other's type and they didn't give it time enough to see if things would eventually become smooth.
My boyfriend and his mom? I could be projecting my own irritation of her behavior on him; perhaps he loves the relationship.
Look at me! I've just explained away my initial question...
See, it's not that communication wasn't calming or good, it was that the relationship just didn't work out. I guess I was just ranting that I'd hate to try again with another ENTp someday if I found myself single and then be left in the same manner. Still, I know it wouldn't stop me from trying as I find ENTp's completely exciting hehe...
dolphin, on May 19 2009, 07:20 PM, said:
If so duality in your life is so seemingly weird/problematic, it might be beneficial to consider retyping yourself or others. Of course, I do not know your situation and would not want to type your friends based on the little information you've given, but from my limited knowledge of duality, it would seem like one of the relations least fraught with difficulty when it comes to communication, and duals have the added bonus of complimentary energy patterns.
Observe how your relation progresses over time. If there's something weird or unsettling, something off that just keeps cropping up, pay attention, it's probably important. Listen to your gut responses, your initial reactions, the unsaid things that cause you frustration, the foreign feel of a person, the ease or lack of communication.
Temperament is easier to spot in the very beginning. This is a good thread about temperaments:
http://forum.socioni...topic=1957&st=0
Actual cognition is a little more readily apparent once you've interacted with the person and gotten close to them. There was a boy I knew irl that I thought was my dual. We seemed to go back and forth effortlessly, and had similar interests, but that was one the surface. The more I was around him, the more the distance became apparent. Trying to get closer only resulted in more misunderstandings. It turns out that he is ISFp, and our relation is Extinguishment. I don't think duality is something so mysterious or dramatic. It has more of a calming effect, and you don't usually get the feeling that the other person is misinterpreting you, and there aren't so many ruffled feathers to constantly work out because your meaning and intention was translated properly and for the most part effortlessly - the first time.
I think if you experience duality enough, the general thought of your dual is not something that would cause repulsion. Here is a good page about intertype relations, I have found them to be quite useful:
http://www.socionics...relations.shtml
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unpredictable in behavior that eventually he broke up with her. Her sometimes sweet, sometimes tough, exterior confused him and she said some things that really hurt him.
